Have you ever wondered what goes on with the Puer Discipulus, common-name young student when it is unsupervised? Today, we will be shining a spotlight on Warhawk Time to observe the Puer Discipulus in its natural habitat.

Inside sources have described Warhawk Time in a large variety of ways: “uneventful,” “relaxing,” “boring” and ‘it would be better if we could leave and get food.’” Will these insights prove true with further investigation? 

In exhibit A, room 282, we have science teacher Waxine Malsh right before the science fair. Students come to Malsh, eyes hopeful and stomachs fluttering to receive feedback on the projects they have labored over. But no one goes through an encounter with this teacher unchanged. Malsh delivers soul-crushing feedback with unrealistic expectations and a dour expression. Innocence doesn’t survive long with Malsh.

Now, onto exhibit B, room 21. Watch as a student frantically writes unintelligible equations and scribbles drawings on paper while others type, with one student even reading… a BOOK! Some students seem to be consuming substances from crunchy paper bags—one of the bags even displaying a Chick-Fil-A logo with the dangerous tool called a FORK! Is everything as it appears in this classroom, or is something more nefarious afoot? 

To investigate this further, we will go to exhibit C, the band room. Students disappear inside and don’t come out. What really happens behind the closed doors of the band room? Fix your eyes to the corner. There is a circle of students standing in a blob that undulates and shifts. Watch now as the blob shuffles and students coalesce in the room to do a ritualized dance with chanting. Could this be part of the mysterious group of students known only as the “color guard”?

Next, exhibit D, room 222. Upstairs, in the biology classroom a network of students, periodically shrieking, hovering over their screens, quickly flipping tabs. What are they doing? Block Blast, unblocked gaming websites, hacking confidential school sites with sensitive information … BRAWL STARS? A sequence of words that sound like a different language. Is this the frightfully contagious disease spreading through the school called… BRAIN ROT!

While at first, the Puer Discipulus seems to be obsessed with homework, what you have witnessed today suggests that in reality, there is much more happening beneath the surface.